So this blog is about work. Specifically, my work, how I'm looking at it and for it and about it.
Here's the 'right now':
As of the last few weeks, around five full-time and one contract (five months or so of work for a company) gigs have shown up.
Four-and-a-half of those jobs are in Raleigh and one is down in Orlando, FL.
As of today two of the Raleigh jobs are pretty much off the list, one is delayed (staffing company trying to get me in for an interview but the hiring team is a bit up in the air) and one-and-a-half are outstanding and waiting for the next step (the one where the staffing company is trying to get me into the company for an interview and the half where I'm being screened by staffing).
Tomorrow, though, I'm being flown to interview for the Orlando job (which is right in the 'sweet-spot' for my skills and experience - to use the parlance I began in the first posts on this blog - those gifts I've been given by my God to take dominion of creation for Him). It appears to be a good job and I should be able to do it well. But, it is in Florida.
There's the key issue of this post. I'm happy here. I love my church and am satisfied with where I'm planted. God might maybe possibly theoretically want me to move and I'm worried about it. At the same time, I want to serve Him with all my being and if that is somewhere else, "not my will, but yours". Here's a case of what I want maybe possibly theoretically conflicting with what God might maybe possibly theoretically do with me and my being stressed about that potential conflict. Crazy, isn't it?
I spent the morning worried about this thing but am finally mostly out of the way. I will seek first His Kingdom, His way and let tomorrow worry about itself. Matthew 6:25-34:
"25 'Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 28 So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 'Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"
How do we "seek"? Aren't you reading the posts? Go back and do it before passing 'go' and moving on. Later.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Right way, continued...
John 13:1-17:
"1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. 2 And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, 'Lord, are You washing my feet?' 7 Jesus answered and said to him, 'What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.' 8 Peter said to Him, 'You shall never wash my feet!'
Jesus answered him, 'If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.' 9 Simon Peter said to Him, 'Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!' 10 Jesus said to him, 'He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.' 11 For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, 'You are not all clean.' 12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, 'Do you know what I have done to you 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.'"
There are more than a couple of sermons worth of material here but since this is about the way I was being slapped about the head, I'm going to shortchange those possible discussions to something very short and sweet...
This was it. Whether I took it from John 13, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13 and 16, 1 Peter 2 and 5, Hebrews 13, James 4, Romans 13, etc., the message of submission and subjection is the same.
How was I washing the feet of the people around me? The simple, ugly answer was for the most part, I wasn't.
Starting at home with my wife and children and in my church with my dear brothers, where was I serving myself and my pride instead of fulfilling the needs of those around me? Pretty much everywhere.
This prideful self-service was not blatant to most, I'm sure. White-wash covers a multitude of issues. But inside I loved myself more than even I would admit, even justifying my prideful vision with beautiful garments ("I'm just trying to get a job." "I'm leading our devotions." "I'm reading the Bible." "I'm 'PRAYING',", etc.)
We're called to submit to God and evidence that submission in the way we are with our neighbors. But often we are so filled with pride we cannot even see what submission really is until God breaks that pride into bits, either by the giant smash of a trial that removes the ground from beneath our spiritual (and often physical and/or mental and/or emotional) feet, or, through the erosion of the Holy Spirit on our spirit through day by day sanctification or, often, both. The essence of the matter, though, is always focusing on God's service either in worship or by subjecting ourselves to one another rather than self-service.
So that morning just before dawn, my question became "How can I wash the feet of my loved ones?" And, I was a changed man! For at least the next 48 hours, I actually focused on this question and sometimes even changed my behavior to answer it well.
Then I backslid. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Then something came up that distracted me. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Rinse and repeat.
Admittedly, my experience has not been of the lightning bolt change to life where I have a sin that dies and every permutation of that sin is gone forever from my life but it has been one of growth and improvement and good fruit such that my glimpses of blessed assurance have happened more often and the pain of sin is more poignantly felt every time they are committed. Submission, then, is following that pattern. Not smoothly nor ever easily, my seeking of the Kingdom of God, has become acceptable to Him. Yes, still in the way Lily's drawings of people are acceptable as people to me even though the resemblance is, ahem, lacking, but as loving offerings, honestly given.
So that's it. One of the ways to sacrifice well to God is to wash the feet of those around us. Simple, huh?
"1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. 2 And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, 'Lord, are You washing my feet?' 7 Jesus answered and said to him, 'What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.' 8 Peter said to Him, 'You shall never wash my feet!'
Jesus answered him, 'If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.' 9 Simon Peter said to Him, 'Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!' 10 Jesus said to him, 'He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.' 11 For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, 'You are not all clean.' 12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, 'Do you know what I have done to you 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.'"
There are more than a couple of sermons worth of material here but since this is about the way I was being slapped about the head, I'm going to shortchange those possible discussions to something very short and sweet...
This was it. Whether I took it from John 13, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13 and 16, 1 Peter 2 and 5, Hebrews 13, James 4, Romans 13, etc., the message of submission and subjection is the same.
How was I washing the feet of the people around me? The simple, ugly answer was for the most part, I wasn't.
Starting at home with my wife and children and in my church with my dear brothers, where was I serving myself and my pride instead of fulfilling the needs of those around me? Pretty much everywhere.
This prideful self-service was not blatant to most, I'm sure. White-wash covers a multitude of issues. But inside I loved myself more than even I would admit, even justifying my prideful vision with beautiful garments ("I'm just trying to get a job." "I'm leading our devotions." "I'm reading the Bible." "I'm 'PRAYING',", etc.)
We're called to submit to God and evidence that submission in the way we are with our neighbors. But often we are so filled with pride we cannot even see what submission really is until God breaks that pride into bits, either by the giant smash of a trial that removes the ground from beneath our spiritual (and often physical and/or mental and/or emotional) feet, or, through the erosion of the Holy Spirit on our spirit through day by day sanctification or, often, both. The essence of the matter, though, is always focusing on God's service either in worship or by subjecting ourselves to one another rather than self-service.
So that morning just before dawn, my question became "How can I wash the feet of my loved ones?" And, I was a changed man! For at least the next 48 hours, I actually focused on this question and sometimes even changed my behavior to answer it well.
Then I backslid. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Then something came up that distracted me. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Rinse and repeat.
Admittedly, my experience has not been of the lightning bolt change to life where I have a sin that dies and every permutation of that sin is gone forever from my life but it has been one of growth and improvement and good fruit such that my glimpses of blessed assurance have happened more often and the pain of sin is more poignantly felt every time they are committed. Submission, then, is following that pattern. Not smoothly nor ever easily, my seeking of the Kingdom of God, has become acceptable to Him. Yes, still in the way Lily's drawings of people are acceptable as people to me even though the resemblance is, ahem, lacking, but as loving offerings, honestly given.
So that's it. One of the ways to sacrifice well to God is to wash the feet of those around us. Simple, huh?
What's the right way?
So, I was painting the bathroom. The house was quiet as I listened to my iPod at around three AM (why else would the house be quiet?). It is not always the case but this time around, a John MacArthur sermon was playing called A Plan for Your Family: God's vs. the World's, Part 1 (#1943a, Eph 5:18-6:2).
As it says, this is an exposition of Ephesians 5:18-6:2 where the discussion begins with what is happening with the family followed by a historical note about Dionysius/Bacchus, which was interesting but didn't click any switches for me at the time. However, the next part (Eph 5:19-21) did, especially when connected to another passage to come:
"...speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God."
Okay, we're now into nuts and bolts... This is how we speak and think toward each other and God. And, submit. But, what does that mean? Well, Mr. MacArthur elaborates on the word: "hupotasso" which means to "place or rank under" like in the military. (I double-checked this, not because I don't trust but, well, you know...) Anyway, if we start looking for where the Word tells us to put down our pride and serve, we quickly get quite a stack of references and actually the next verses in Ephesians, especially, give some more clarity of what this looks like in practice (Eph 5:22-27):
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish."
So, we " to one another in the fear of God" and, wives "submit to" husbands. Also, though, we see that husbands should "love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her". There appears, then, this submission in leadership as an expression of love. The bell really rang for me on this one when Mr. MacArthur linked this leading submission to John 13, which I'll put in the next post...
As it says, this is an exposition of Ephesians 5:18-6:2 where the discussion begins with what is happening with the family followed by a historical note about Dionysius/Bacchus, which was interesting but didn't click any switches for me at the time. However, the next part (Eph 5:19-21) did, especially when connected to another passage to come:
"...speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God."
Okay, we're now into nuts and bolts... This is how we speak and think toward each other and God. And, submit. But, what does that mean? Well, Mr. MacArthur elaborates on the word: "hupotasso" which means to "place or rank under" like in the military. (I double-checked this, not because I don't trust but, well, you know...) Anyway, if we start looking for where the Word tells us to put down our pride and serve, we quickly get quite a stack of references and actually the next verses in Ephesians, especially, give some more clarity of what this looks like in practice (Eph 5:22-27):
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish."
So, we "
Thursday, July 15, 2010
To those who have been trained by it...
Seeing in the eyes of my children what they really think when they are about to receive a chastisement clearly illustrates what was going on inside when things were not working out for me - even though I was serving God with my hands and mouth. My service was without heart. Or, at least with such a weakness of heart so as not to matter. The desires of my spirit were not to seek after God directly but to get what God could give me. Like the child who only obeys because there is a cookie at the successful completion of a task, I went about the efforts of worship both in private and in leading my family. This falsehood deserved chastening and it took a lot of it before He decided to point out to me what was wrong. Piling on top of that, my reaction to His discipline ALSO was full of sin and bad attitude.
So, though my first issue was the self-serving offerings, my second was the depth with which I despised God's righteous punishment. Praise to God that He chose to point me to a key to understand this aspect of my sin the same day He taught me about defiled offerings.
God used a dear brother's lesson and a Sunday afternoon conversation to enlighten me with his Word. A longer passage, here - Hebrews 12:3-11
"3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. 4 You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. 5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:
“ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
My paraphrase, with input from another couple of places in scripture, "If you really are a Christian, shut up and take your chastening with an open heart because it is for your good and My glory."
Okay - so, we've got bad offerings. We've received righteous punishment sinfully. Great. Let's repent and move on. The thing was, my lesson was not over. I heard the "don't do this!" side but was missing the opposite.
What's the right way to worship? How should I serve?
So, though my first issue was the self-serving offerings, my second was the depth with which I despised God's righteous punishment. Praise to God that He chose to point me to a key to understand this aspect of my sin the same day He taught me about defiled offerings.
God used a dear brother's lesson and a Sunday afternoon conversation to enlighten me with his Word. A longer passage, here - Hebrews 12:3-11
"3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. 4 You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. 5 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:
“ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
My paraphrase, with input from another couple of places in scripture, "If you really are a Christian, shut up and take your chastening with an open heart because it is for your good and My glory."
Okay - so, we've got bad offerings. We've received righteous punishment sinfully. Great. Let's repent and move on. The thing was, my lesson was not over. I heard the "don't do this!" side but was missing the opposite.
What's the right way to worship? How should I serve?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Defiled Offerings
So, what is a defiled offering? Or, more specifically, how were my offerings defiled?
Well, in Malachi 1 the offerings are the stolen, lame and sick of the animals of the people - in other words, they are 'blemished' and in direct opposition to God's requirements for sacrifices as laid out in the law as Moses gave it to them. Just as bad as the actual offerings (and the fact that the priests accepted them) was the attitude with which they were given. Malachi 1:12-13 tells us the heart of those sacrificing:
"But you profane it, in that you say, ‘The table of the LORD is defiled; and its fruit, its food, is contemptible.’ You also say, ‘Oh, what a weariness!’ and you sneer at it, says the LORD of hosts. 'And you bring the stolen, the lame, and the sick; Thus you bring an offering! Should I accept this from your hand?' says the LORD."
My sacrifices were no sacrifice at all. The desires underlying my piety were completely to get something from God for my actions and receive the payoff (a new job) that I determined was due. My seeking was to fill my own belly rather than to seek God and His righteousness.
Now, was all the stuff I mentioned in the last entry bad stuff to do? I have to say, "No." All of the things I mentioned (prayer, personal and family devotions, reading of the Word and spiritual works) are good and necessary things to do. Do them! However, make sure you put aside your sinful desire to get paid for your own righteousness in doing them. Connected to this, also we must ask whether it is a bad thing for me to want a job? Again, I must answer in the negative. As Paul writes in 1 Timothy 5:8:
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever"
Again, though, this good thing was defiled by the bad heart that desired it in pride.
So, looking back, I deserved chastisement. Any of us who have children (or, who were children) might see that whether we deserve chastisement or not, it is often challenging to accept it gracefully and with a right heart. I had a bad view of my discipline and an anger toward God because of it until His Spirit worked in me to see my sin and led me to the truth through a dear brother who was feeling the rod of correction on his own back.
He brought me to Hebrews...
Well, in Malachi 1 the offerings are the stolen, lame and sick of the animals of the people - in other words, they are 'blemished' and in direct opposition to God's requirements for sacrifices as laid out in the law as Moses gave it to them. Just as bad as the actual offerings (and the fact that the priests accepted them) was the attitude with which they were given. Malachi 1:12-13 tells us the heart of those sacrificing:
"But you profane it, in that you say, ‘The table of the LORD is defiled; and its fruit, its food, is contemptible.’ You also say, ‘Oh, what a weariness!’ and you sneer at it, says the LORD of hosts. 'And you bring the stolen, the lame, and the sick; Thus you bring an offering! Should I accept this from your hand?' says the LORD."
My sacrifices were no sacrifice at all. The desires underlying my piety were completely to get something from God for my actions and receive the payoff (a new job) that I determined was due. My seeking was to fill my own belly rather than to seek God and His righteousness.
Now, was all the stuff I mentioned in the last entry bad stuff to do? I have to say, "No." All of the things I mentioned (prayer, personal and family devotions, reading of the Word and spiritual works) are good and necessary things to do. Do them! However, make sure you put aside your sinful desire to get paid for your own righteousness in doing them. Connected to this, also we must ask whether it is a bad thing for me to want a job? Again, I must answer in the negative. As Paul writes in 1 Timothy 5:8:
"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever"
Again, though, this good thing was defiled by the bad heart that desired it in pride.
So, looking back, I deserved chastisement. Any of us who have children (or, who were children) might see that whether we deserve chastisement or not, it is often challenging to accept it gracefully and with a right heart. I had a bad view of my discipline and an anger toward God because of it until His Spirit worked in me to see my sin and led me to the truth through a dear brother who was feeling the rod of correction on his own back.
He brought me to Hebrews...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Seek ye first...
We all know this one: "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you".
I thought I was seeking first the Kingdom in the right way. I was reading the Word and praying. I was more consistent in family devotions (every day). I was doing my extra reading for Elder Discipleship (building the necessary theological and pastoral muscles to confidently lead a church someday) and stepping away from doing some of the other stuff that just wasted time. I was putting the time in.
Unfortunately, however much I sought, the "added unto" didn't seem to be following. In fact, what seemed to be getting added was trial and difficulty in the form of sickness (in the whole family - the kinds that lasted weeks, not days) disappointment (job possibilities that from the world's perspective should have blossomed but never even sprouted) and fear (yes, it has to do with the blessing of new life in our family). So, I tried harder to stick with the regimen. The trials increased. People close to me sinned against me. So, I tried harder.
Then, I quit.
Fine. God's not paying me off so, why should I even try anymore? Why, I thought, was this happening when I was trying so hard to serve? How could I be paying more dues than ever and still not be "added unto"? What was wrong with God? I didn't remember it at the time but Malachi pointed out to the people the same thing I was doing (Malachi 3:14) "You have said, ‘It is useless to serve God; what profit is it that we have kept His ordinance, and that we have walked as mourners before the LORD of hosts?"
It took a while and some pain before I saw the error. Not the most fun of times, those months. But, then again, the most glorious times I was blessed to see because of the training inherent in them. The absolute best times for my family and me "For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives".
What was my problem? I believe the core can be found in Malachi as well.
My offerings were defiled.
More to come.
I thought I was seeking first the Kingdom in the right way. I was reading the Word and praying. I was more consistent in family devotions (every day). I was doing my extra reading for Elder Discipleship (building the necessary theological and pastoral muscles to confidently lead a church someday) and stepping away from doing some of the other stuff that just wasted time. I was putting the time in.
Unfortunately, however much I sought, the "added unto" didn't seem to be following. In fact, what seemed to be getting added was trial and difficulty in the form of sickness (in the whole family - the kinds that lasted weeks, not days) disappointment (job possibilities that from the world's perspective should have blossomed but never even sprouted) and fear (yes, it has to do with the blessing of new life in our family). So, I tried harder to stick with the regimen. The trials increased. People close to me sinned against me. So, I tried harder.
Then, I quit.
Fine. God's not paying me off so, why should I even try anymore? Why, I thought, was this happening when I was trying so hard to serve? How could I be paying more dues than ever and still not be "added unto"? What was wrong with God? I didn't remember it at the time but Malachi pointed out to the people the same thing I was doing (Malachi 3:14) "You have said, ‘It is useless to serve God; what profit is it that we have kept His ordinance, and that we have walked as mourners before the LORD of hosts?"
It took a while and some pain before I saw the error. Not the most fun of times, those months. But, then again, the most glorious times I was blessed to see because of the training inherent in them. The absolute best times for my family and me "For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives".
What was my problem? I believe the core can be found in Malachi as well.
My offerings were defiled.
More to come.
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