In Summary, then,

Back to close out the "epiphany" thread before I forget.

So, one day a few weeks ago, after months of preparation by God in my life, messages conjoined together from Malachi, Hebrews, Ephesians and John to help my walk and answer questions I didn't know to ask.

How were my offerings defiled? They were given with pride and selfish desire rather than a sincere heart of love and service.

Why did I feel the pain of chastisement? My offerings were defiled and it was necessary that the 'heat' be turned up to examine them. Short paraphrase, "Your chastisement is for your good and God's glory. Shut up and take it."

What do good offerings look like? They look like the person will all the resources, strength, intelligence, power and glory, kneeling before the poor, weak, foolish, impotent and base to serve and give what is needed.

In my selfish pride, I run my childish way, taking what I think will be best for me and doing what feels best to me.

Oh, Lord! Be merciful to me, a sinner! Please, Father, bear patiently with your son and teach me your ways! Lord, may I fear you and love you as you deserve.