Useless.

There is an interesting term that comes up over and over in Ecclesiastes, "Surely this also is vanity and grasping for the wind."

Solomon applies this definition to several things, all of the world and for the world. It took the wisest man ever given breath his whole life of experimentation and experience with unlimited resources to close out his search but he got to the point where he felt he had accomplished all the world had to offer and found it lacking. "Vain" means empty or worthless.

Sometimes, going through the search for a job or trying to create a job, we can feel exactly that way about what we do or, more to the point right now, who we are. The balance in our hearts pull toward a feeling of wasted effort and a lack of value until we see clearly our Total Depravity and wonder why we should continue, not just in the 'job search' or the 'business start-up' but in life. Our definition of success stops being the measure to which God would hold us but our own fear of men and the desire to have other men recognize us as contributors to society through our efforts.

There have been a number of positions for which I have applied over the last week or so and the last two responses of any sort have, in summary, Thanks, but no thanks, surrounded by a well of silence.

It is a challenge with which we are all sometime faced, to mortify the spiritual flesh and come to Him as a living sacrifice, when what the sin that lives in us wants is recognition and love on its own merits (which are always NONE).

Well, thanks be to God that He tells us over and over again this message as noted in Jeremiah 29:11-14 (and elsewhere)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.

God glorifies Himself through all of creation, every moment and motion of it. God means good to His people all the time. We need to stop letting our sin get in the way and walk the walk He has appointed us.

As Solomon concluded at the end of Ecclesiastes (12:13-14):
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
14 For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.

Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all.

Sums it up pretty well. All of it.

In Summary, then,

Back to close out the "epiphany" thread before I forget.

So, one day a few weeks ago, after months of preparation by God in my life, messages conjoined together from Malachi, Hebrews, Ephesians and John to help my walk and answer questions I didn't know to ask.

How were my offerings defiled? They were given with pride and selfish desire rather than a sincere heart of love and service.

Why did I feel the pain of chastisement? My offerings were defiled and it was necessary that the 'heat' be turned up to examine them. Short paraphrase, "Your chastisement is for your good and God's glory. Shut up and take it."

What do good offerings look like? They look like the person will all the resources, strength, intelligence, power and glory, kneeling before the poor, weak, foolish, impotent and base to serve and give what is needed.

In my selfish pride, I run my childish way, taking what I think will be best for me and doing what feels best to me.

Oh, Lord! Be merciful to me, a sinner! Please, Father, bear patiently with your son and teach me your ways! Lord, may I fear you and love you as you deserve.

Bittersweet, but, much more sweet than bitter.

Psalm 121

A Song of Ascents.

1 I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.

Praise God for knowing better than I my path and where and how I should walk it.

Heard today about the Orlando job. Didn't get it. My pride stings a bit, as it does whenever I find out someone doesn't want me, but the gladness I feel at staying home in NC rather than moving from my brothers and sisters (and some nieces and nephews as well as the occasional crazy cousin) is a balm soothing the pain.

Praise God for giving me what I need even when I don't know what I want.