This came to mind recently and was worth a mention.
I think we are given a lie by the world about "friends". We read, watch and hear all the time about "bffs" and lifelong friends and thick and thin etc etc etc.
But that's not the way things usually work. Friendly people pass into and out of our lives all the time. If we don't have enough of one or several of them, we tend to resent it. That resentment boils around for a while and turns into all sorts of ugly things - sadness, anger, bitterness, loneliness - and colors the way we see the world and the blessings God has given us.
That resentment and its fruit is really pointed at Him.
I was going through this just the other day. Leaving a crowd of friends and acquaintences, I realized I couldn't think of anyone who would care I was gone. And I let it roil about and affect my day. I resented the feeling and then felt guilty for feeling sorry for myself. All in all, a yucky spiral downward.
Thinking about it later, I realized the nature of the sin the world wants us to commit...
We're told by the world that our comfort needs to come from our friends. That's not the case. Our comfort not only shouldn't but can't come from friends. If it can't come consistently from those who have a deep, physical reliance on us, like family or spouses or ourselves, how can we possibly have comfort from other non-self, non-spouse, non-family "friends"?
The good news is that there is one true friend who has promised to never leave nor forsake us, who is unchanging, unwavering and, unlike any other in creation, has the power to fulfill His promise.
I pray that in His mercy, He gives us comfort on this matter. According to His will, I pray we each find others to be the sort of friends we need to have and recognize the truth of the kindness that really is.
But, more, I pray for each of us to never NEED those others to be happy.
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Joy not of the world.
There is a point where we, as Christians, must lay aside the burdens we have put on our own backs - most of which are actually monkeys - to take up those burdens appropriate to our calling as 'slaves of righteousness'(Rom 6:18). Interestingly, there are a few thoughts on the 'net about the origin of the phrase "monkey on my back" that mostly seem to go toward drug addiction back, at least, to a movie of that title made in 1957 which might imply the common usage even at that time. That definition has evolved to include any habit or personal issue that one has determined one doesn't want but cannot shake. In other words, whether physical or, often in our case, spiritual, an addiction.
So often, we are addicted to our sin and do not see the way out. Our reality is one of worldly thought and desire which overcomes our will to do good. That monkey has gripped our backs so strongly we worry about damage to ourselves (perhaps even the plucking out of an eye or cutting off of a right hand) if we were to tear it from us. Praise God, we have the ability to lay aside those sins (Rom 6). We are like the prisoner who has been locked-up for so long that whether the door is open or not, we stay in the cell. The sinful habits we have the ability to shatter, we hold tightly even as the Spirit weakens their grip and slowly pries them from us (the picture of a greased pig comes to mind - and, yes, we're the pig and our sin which starts out latched to us slowly loses purchase).
I want to loose my sin from me. I pray my thanks that God has made me weak and helpless in the flesh and proven faithful to answer prayer. I pray my God to grant me a desire and avenue to take dominion of creation for Him.
Amen.
Rom 6:16 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?
So often, we are addicted to our sin and do not see the way out. Our reality is one of worldly thought and desire which overcomes our will to do good. That monkey has gripped our backs so strongly we worry about damage to ourselves (perhaps even the plucking out of an eye or cutting off of a right hand) if we were to tear it from us. Praise God, we have the ability to lay aside those sins (Rom 6). We are like the prisoner who has been locked-up for so long that whether the door is open or not, we stay in the cell. The sinful habits we have the ability to shatter, we hold tightly even as the Spirit weakens their grip and slowly pries them from us (the picture of a greased pig comes to mind - and, yes, we're the pig and our sin which starts out latched to us slowly loses purchase).
I want to loose my sin from me. I pray my thanks that God has made me weak and helpless in the flesh and proven faithful to answer prayer. I pray my God to grant me a desire and avenue to take dominion of creation for Him.
Amen.
Rom 6:16 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Useless.
There is an interesting term that comes up over and over in Ecclesiastes, "Surely this also is vanity and grasping for the wind."
Solomon applies this definition to several things, all of the world and for the world. It took the wisest man ever given breath his whole life of experimentation and experience with unlimited resources to close out his search but he got to the point where he felt he had accomplished all the world had to offer and found it lacking. "Vain" means empty or worthless.
Sometimes, going through the search for a job or trying to create a job, we can feel exactly that way about what we do or, more to the point right now, who we are. The balance in our hearts pull toward a feeling of wasted effort and a lack of value until we see clearly our Total Depravity and wonder why we should continue, not just in the 'job search' or the 'business start-up' but in life. Our definition of success stops being the measure to which God would hold us but our own fear of men and the desire to have other men recognize us as contributors to society through our efforts.
There have been a number of positions for which I have applied over the last week or so and the last two responses of any sort have, in summary, Thanks, but no thanks, surrounded by a well of silence.
It is a challenge with which we are all sometime faced, to mortify the spiritual flesh and come to Him as a living sacrifice, when what the sin that lives in us wants is recognition and love on its own merits (which are always NONE).
Well, thanks be to God that He tells us over and over again this message as noted in Jeremiah 29:11-14 (and elsewhere)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.
God glorifies Himself through all of creation, every moment and motion of it. God means good to His people all the time. We need to stop letting our sin get in the way and walk the walk He has appointed us.
As Solomon concluded at the end of Ecclesiastes (12:13-14):
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
14 For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.
Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all.
Sums it up pretty well. All of it.
Solomon applies this definition to several things, all of the world and for the world. It took the wisest man ever given breath his whole life of experimentation and experience with unlimited resources to close out his search but he got to the point where he felt he had accomplished all the world had to offer and found it lacking. "Vain" means empty or worthless.
Sometimes, going through the search for a job or trying to create a job, we can feel exactly that way about what we do or, more to the point right now, who we are. The balance in our hearts pull toward a feeling of wasted effort and a lack of value until we see clearly our Total Depravity and wonder why we should continue, not just in the 'job search' or the 'business start-up' but in life. Our definition of success stops being the measure to which God would hold us but our own fear of men and the desire to have other men recognize us as contributors to society through our efforts.
There have been a number of positions for which I have applied over the last week or so and the last two responses of any sort have, in summary, Thanks, but no thanks, surrounded by a well of silence.
It is a challenge with which we are all sometime faced, to mortify the spiritual flesh and come to Him as a living sacrifice, when what the sin that lives in us wants is recognition and love on its own merits (which are always NONE).
Well, thanks be to God that He tells us over and over again this message as noted in Jeremiah 29:11-14 (and elsewhere)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the LORD, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.
God glorifies Himself through all of creation, every moment and motion of it. God means good to His people all the time. We need to stop letting our sin get in the way and walk the walk He has appointed us.
As Solomon concluded at the end of Ecclesiastes (12:13-14):
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
14 For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.
Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all.
Sums it up pretty well. All of it.
Friday, August 6, 2010
In Summary, then,
Back to close out the "epiphany" thread before I forget.
So, one day a few weeks ago, after months of preparation by God in my life, messages conjoined together from Malachi, Hebrews, Ephesians and John to help my walk and answer questions I didn't know to ask.
How were my offerings defiled? They were given with pride and selfish desire rather than a sincere heart of love and service.
Why did I feel the pain of chastisement? My offerings were defiled and it was necessary that the 'heat' be turned up to examine them. Short paraphrase, "Your chastisement is for your good and God's glory. Shut up and take it."
What do good offerings look like? They look like the person will all the resources, strength, intelligence, power and glory, kneeling before the poor, weak, foolish, impotent and base to serve and give what is needed.
In my selfish pride, I run my childish way, taking what I think will be best for me and doing what feels best to me.
Oh, Lord! Be merciful to me, a sinner! Please, Father, bear patiently with your son and teach me your ways! Lord, may I fear you and love you as you deserve.
So, one day a few weeks ago, after months of preparation by God in my life, messages conjoined together from Malachi, Hebrews, Ephesians and John to help my walk and answer questions I didn't know to ask.
How were my offerings defiled? They were given with pride and selfish desire rather than a sincere heart of love and service.
Why did I feel the pain of chastisement? My offerings were defiled and it was necessary that the 'heat' be turned up to examine them. Short paraphrase, "Your chastisement is for your good and God's glory. Shut up and take it."
What do good offerings look like? They look like the person will all the resources, strength, intelligence, power and glory, kneeling before the poor, weak, foolish, impotent and base to serve and give what is needed.
In my selfish pride, I run my childish way, taking what I think will be best for me and doing what feels best to me.
Oh, Lord! Be merciful to me, a sinner! Please, Father, bear patiently with your son and teach me your ways! Lord, may I fear you and love you as you deserve.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Bittersweet, but, much more sweet than bitter.
Psalm 121
A Song of Ascents.
1 I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.
Praise God for knowing better than I my path and where and how I should walk it.
Heard today about the Orlando job. Didn't get it. My pride stings a bit, as it does whenever I find out someone doesn't want me, but the gladness I feel at staying home in NC rather than moving from my brothers and sisters (and some nieces and nephews as well as the occasional crazy cousin) is a balm soothing the pain.
Praise God for giving me what I need even when I don't know what I want.
A Song of Ascents.
1 I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help?
2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade at your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul.
8 The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.
Praise God for knowing better than I my path and where and how I should walk it.
Heard today about the Orlando job. Didn't get it. My pride stings a bit, as it does whenever I find out someone doesn't want me, but the gladness I feel at staying home in NC rather than moving from my brothers and sisters (and some nieces and nephews as well as the occasional crazy cousin) is a balm soothing the pain.
Praise God for giving me what I need even when I don't know what I want.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Back to work.
So this blog is about work. Specifically, my work, how I'm looking at it and for it and about it.
Here's the 'right now':
As of the last few weeks, around five full-time and one contract (five months or so of work for a company) gigs have shown up.
Four-and-a-half of those jobs are in Raleigh and one is down in Orlando, FL.
As of today two of the Raleigh jobs are pretty much off the list, one is delayed (staffing company trying to get me in for an interview but the hiring team is a bit up in the air) and one-and-a-half are outstanding and waiting for the next step (the one where the staffing company is trying to get me into the company for an interview and the half where I'm being screened by staffing).
Tomorrow, though, I'm being flown to interview for the Orlando job (which is right in the 'sweet-spot' for my skills and experience - to use the parlance I began in the first posts on this blog - those gifts I've been given by my God to take dominion of creation for Him). It appears to be a good job and I should be able to do it well. But, it is in Florida.
There's the key issue of this post. I'm happy here. I love my church and am satisfied with where I'm planted. God might maybe possibly theoretically want me to move and I'm worried about it. At the same time, I want to serve Him with all my being and if that is somewhere else, "not my will, but yours". Here's a case of what I want maybe possibly theoretically conflicting with what God might maybe possibly theoretically do with me and my being stressed about that potential conflict. Crazy, isn't it?
I spent the morning worried about this thing but am finally mostly out of the way. I will seek first His Kingdom, His way and let tomorrow worry about itself. Matthew 6:25-34:
"25 'Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 28 So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 'Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"
How do we "seek"? Aren't you reading the posts? Go back and do it before passing 'go' and moving on. Later.
Here's the 'right now':
As of the last few weeks, around five full-time and one contract (five months or so of work for a company) gigs have shown up.
Four-and-a-half of those jobs are in Raleigh and one is down in Orlando, FL.
As of today two of the Raleigh jobs are pretty much off the list, one is delayed (staffing company trying to get me in for an interview but the hiring team is a bit up in the air) and one-and-a-half are outstanding and waiting for the next step (the one where the staffing company is trying to get me into the company for an interview and the half where I'm being screened by staffing).
Tomorrow, though, I'm being flown to interview for the Orlando job (which is right in the 'sweet-spot' for my skills and experience - to use the parlance I began in the first posts on this blog - those gifts I've been given by my God to take dominion of creation for Him). It appears to be a good job and I should be able to do it well. But, it is in Florida.
There's the key issue of this post. I'm happy here. I love my church and am satisfied with where I'm planted. God might maybe possibly theoretically want me to move and I'm worried about it. At the same time, I want to serve Him with all my being and if that is somewhere else, "not my will, but yours". Here's a case of what I want maybe possibly theoretically conflicting with what God might maybe possibly theoretically do with me and my being stressed about that potential conflict. Crazy, isn't it?
I spent the morning worried about this thing but am finally mostly out of the way. I will seek first His Kingdom, His way and let tomorrow worry about itself. Matthew 6:25-34:
"25 'Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 28 So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 'Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.'"
How do we "seek"? Aren't you reading the posts? Go back and do it before passing 'go' and moving on. Later.
Right way, continued...
John 13:1-17:
"1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. 2 And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, 'Lord, are You washing my feet?' 7 Jesus answered and said to him, 'What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.' 8 Peter said to Him, 'You shall never wash my feet!'
Jesus answered him, 'If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.' 9 Simon Peter said to Him, 'Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!' 10 Jesus said to him, 'He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.' 11 For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, 'You are not all clean.' 12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, 'Do you know what I have done to you 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.'"
There are more than a couple of sermons worth of material here but since this is about the way I was being slapped about the head, I'm going to shortchange those possible discussions to something very short and sweet...
This was it. Whether I took it from John 13, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13 and 16, 1 Peter 2 and 5, Hebrews 13, James 4, Romans 13, etc., the message of submission and subjection is the same.
How was I washing the feet of the people around me? The simple, ugly answer was for the most part, I wasn't.
Starting at home with my wife and children and in my church with my dear brothers, where was I serving myself and my pride instead of fulfilling the needs of those around me? Pretty much everywhere.
This prideful self-service was not blatant to most, I'm sure. White-wash covers a multitude of issues. But inside I loved myself more than even I would admit, even justifying my prideful vision with beautiful garments ("I'm just trying to get a job." "I'm leading our devotions." "I'm reading the Bible." "I'm 'PRAYING',", etc.)
We're called to submit to God and evidence that submission in the way we are with our neighbors. But often we are so filled with pride we cannot even see what submission really is until God breaks that pride into bits, either by the giant smash of a trial that removes the ground from beneath our spiritual (and often physical and/or mental and/or emotional) feet, or, through the erosion of the Holy Spirit on our spirit through day by day sanctification or, often, both. The essence of the matter, though, is always focusing on God's service either in worship or by subjecting ourselves to one another rather than self-service.
So that morning just before dawn, my question became "How can I wash the feet of my loved ones?" And, I was a changed man! For at least the next 48 hours, I actually focused on this question and sometimes even changed my behavior to answer it well.
Then I backslid. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Then something came up that distracted me. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Rinse and repeat.
Admittedly, my experience has not been of the lightning bolt change to life where I have a sin that dies and every permutation of that sin is gone forever from my life but it has been one of growth and improvement and good fruit such that my glimpses of blessed assurance have happened more often and the pain of sin is more poignantly felt every time they are committed. Submission, then, is following that pattern. Not smoothly nor ever easily, my seeking of the Kingdom of God, has become acceptable to Him. Yes, still in the way Lily's drawings of people are acceptable as people to me even though the resemblance is, ahem, lacking, but as loving offerings, honestly given.
So that's it. One of the ways to sacrifice well to God is to wash the feet of those around us. Simple, huh?
"1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. 2 And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, 'Lord, are You washing my feet?' 7 Jesus answered and said to him, 'What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.' 8 Peter said to Him, 'You shall never wash my feet!'
Jesus answered him, 'If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.' 9 Simon Peter said to Him, 'Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!' 10 Jesus said to him, 'He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.' 11 For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, 'You are not all clean.' 12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, 'Do you know what I have done to you 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.'"
There are more than a couple of sermons worth of material here but since this is about the way I was being slapped about the head, I'm going to shortchange those possible discussions to something very short and sweet...
This was it. Whether I took it from John 13, Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13 and 16, 1 Peter 2 and 5, Hebrews 13, James 4, Romans 13, etc., the message of submission and subjection is the same.
How was I washing the feet of the people around me? The simple, ugly answer was for the most part, I wasn't.
Starting at home with my wife and children and in my church with my dear brothers, where was I serving myself and my pride instead of fulfilling the needs of those around me? Pretty much everywhere.
This prideful self-service was not blatant to most, I'm sure. White-wash covers a multitude of issues. But inside I loved myself more than even I would admit, even justifying my prideful vision with beautiful garments ("I'm just trying to get a job." "I'm leading our devotions." "I'm reading the Bible." "I'm 'PRAYING',", etc.)
We're called to submit to God and evidence that submission in the way we are with our neighbors. But often we are so filled with pride we cannot even see what submission really is until God breaks that pride into bits, either by the giant smash of a trial that removes the ground from beneath our spiritual (and often physical and/or mental and/or emotional) feet, or, through the erosion of the Holy Spirit on our spirit through day by day sanctification or, often, both. The essence of the matter, though, is always focusing on God's service either in worship or by subjecting ourselves to one another rather than self-service.
So that morning just before dawn, my question became "How can I wash the feet of my loved ones?" And, I was a changed man! For at least the next 48 hours, I actually focused on this question and sometimes even changed my behavior to answer it well.
Then I backslid. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Then something came up that distracted me. Then I asked for forgiveness and did better. Rinse and repeat.
Admittedly, my experience has not been of the lightning bolt change to life where I have a sin that dies and every permutation of that sin is gone forever from my life but it has been one of growth and improvement and good fruit such that my glimpses of blessed assurance have happened more often and the pain of sin is more poignantly felt every time they are committed. Submission, then, is following that pattern. Not smoothly nor ever easily, my seeking of the Kingdom of God, has become acceptable to Him. Yes, still in the way Lily's drawings of people are acceptable as people to me even though the resemblance is, ahem, lacking, but as loving offerings, honestly given.
So that's it. One of the ways to sacrifice well to God is to wash the feet of those around us. Simple, huh?
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