I was not a Christian until age 23 and I didn't grow up in a Christian home. I remember being taken to church on Sundays some when I was very young and we did tend to honor my grandmother by going to church at least on Christmas and Easter but I certainly did not honor God in the way I lived my life. Not saying that we were bad people or I was a bad kid by worldly standards at all. In fact, that was one of the highest hurdles God overcame in me on my way to salvation - I didn't do anything "bad" according to the world; no drugs, alcohol, bad relationships. Though I was lazy in some ways, I worked hard in the ways I thought mattered.
My work ethic was strong and I started working seriously (at our hometown factory) relatively early. I remember the night I had a temperature over 103 and there were five inches of snow on the ground and still coming when I dragged myself out of bed and went to work my regular shift (11 PM to 7 AM). During another period, I worked double shifts (3 PM to 7 AM) for three months because I was 'needed' and I wanted the money. These were the types of things I saw my father do and I grew up believing that is what you did as a man. Those behaviors proved your value and worth and defined you. Those behaviors justified me to the world that I was important. Even after I was saved, those foundational beliefs for many years undergirded the way I went about getting and doing the jobs I held. My values were stacked such that being a worker was the most important part of being a man. Being a husband and father and all those other roles were prioritized below that one. Part of the reason for this was the fact that if one is a worker, he must be a provider, right? The main part of being a husband and father is to be a provider, so the other stuff automatically falls into place, right?
Wrong. In so many ways. Many paths down which I don't plan to wander in the context of work. But, wrong.
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